Summer is in full swing here in Sonoma Country and I am loving a break from the city and (almost) all my responsibilities! I have had a few shifts of work interspersed with my almost three weeks off. It is already crazy how fast summer is flying by! Here's a few things I've been loving:

1. Life has been pretty great! Most days are spent next to the pool tanning in the sun. I have also been loving the greenery here and have had a couple awesome hikes in Annadel. I swear each time I leave SF I am more and more appreciative of the beautiful place I live in.

This month marks my 6 month anniversary working in the Intensive Care Nursery at UCSF. I am happy to report that I love my job more with each passing shift and am continually inspired by the amazing nurses, families, and patients I work with daily. But as with any job dealing with life and death, there are the good days and the really bad ones.

The bad ones often start off unsuspecting, like any other shift there is friendly banter as the new staff arrives, change of shift report, and the regular bustle of the unit. One minute it is business as usual, until on the turn of a dime, a baby will code, or mom will die, we'll lose someone. I should expect it more I guess. I am in the business of medicine, which is definetly not always a success story, specifically in the Intensive Care Unit.

 I have grown this year in my acceptance of death. This fall I had my nursing clinical on a palliative care unit at Laguna Honda. Every day I fed and bathed people who could no longer speak, wondering if this would be their last day, giving extra care to tuck them in nice with extra human touch. I had a patient die and sat with the family, listened to stories, and tried to share the burden of grief. I was honored to be a part of these patients' lives even for a short time. I learned about death in class, how to identify it, how to help the patient and family mourn and accept. And through this learning, I confronted my own ideas about death, and began to understand it more. 

Coming to work in the ICN, the first thing I thought was how fun it would be to work with cute, cuddly babies. But the reality I was confronted with is that a lot of these kids are extremely sick. Many of them get better and leave us and go on to live wonderful and normal lives. Some heal a little and learn to live with their chronic illness, or move upstairs into the Pediatric ICU. But the worst is when some leave us because of death. It happens. It is horrible each and every time to witness a life lost and the resulting devastation to parents, family, and us, the staff. Plainly put: the death of a child is a horrible event. 

When I first started working here it caught me offgaurd even thinking about babies dying, and how that was a sad but normal part of life here. On the dark days when we lose a child or a mother I witness how deeply it effects the staff.  On those shifts, those who know what happened walk with heads hung, bearing the devastating grief of the family. Several staff pass me with red, puffy eyes and running noses, heading to assist the patients they still can. The rest of the staff is unknowing, giving out friendly waves at 3am as they shuffle past me. It always astounds me that life goes on. That for a few people the world has stopped turning, stuck on the moment they learned the truth. But for everyone else it is another night shift, another hour closer to going home, a cruel reality that I am still learning.

In summary I am saying that dealing life and death is hard. It is so hard and something I struggle with every day here. And tonight is an especially hard one. But I will go and cuddle another sweet baby because that is what we must do as caregivers, find hope in the patients we can help. As always, I leave this shift so grateful for everything I am learning here, good days and bad days, I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

As of this past Tuesday at 6pm I have been officially FREE!! I am happy to find myself sad to leave SF and all the wonderful friends I have there - can't wait to see you all again! But I am extra grateful for the break after this grueling semester. Summer has only just begun and is already so sweet. 

I spent the first two days in a flurry of laughing in the sun with my friends, annoying my dog (pictured above), unpacking, and repacking to head to San Luis Obispo! Thursday I said goodbye to one of my very best friends, Emily, as she heads for an adventure in Italy for a month! Miss you em, I'm loving your pics! 

Friday my other best friends, Maddie, Jessica, Laurel and I headed down to San Luis Obispo to celebrate Maddie's 20th birthday, visit my brother Chris, and our friend Jackie!! 

Friday was spent with Chris, seeing his friends and hanging out in backyards Cal Poly style. Saturday we met up with Jackie. We spent a fun few hours walking around downtown doing 2 of my very favorite activities - brunching and shopping!! This amazing little diner called Lousia's has GLUTEN FREE french toast!!! This is not a drill!! It is amazing! 

We celebrated Maddie's birthday Saturday night with a little party with the whole Cal Poly crew, which left us with a bit of a late start Sunday. We managed to pull ourselves together by lunchtime for some revitalizing Acai and Pitaya bowls at Kravabowl in Avila Beach and some sunbathing on the beach. Then it was time to pack up the car, stuff ourselves with sushi, and do the long drive back to Santa Rosa. 

It was the perfect kickoff to our summer and a great celebration of my very best friend in the world! Looking forward to a week of work and friends!  

Hi everyone! It's been a hot minute since the last post due to my life being a bit crazy. I seem to have hit the mid-semester slump and am drowning a bit in responsibility and exams, but the light at the end of the tunnel is SUMMER - only 4 weeks away! 

In the mean time here's a few things that have really been brightening up my life lately!

My favorite blogger, Jessica Garvin has made her snapchat public! Now if you know me well, you know I'm obsessed with all things babies and parenting, and the blog, Little Baby Garvin, is one of my guilty pleasures. Seeing her three adorable little girls giggling on my snap feed makes my day!

Two weeks ago I was mid-breakdown about how stressed I was about the two nursing exams I had that week when I did what I always do to calm myself down: online shopped. I bought these pens, and it was the perfect anecdote because I decreased my stress by organizing my planner. If you're an organizational freak like me, do yourself a favor and get these asap!

And lastly, the amazing sunshine we've been getting here in SF. I feel instantly better when I get a little Vitamin D on my skin, and kayaking in the bay this past weekend was the perfect opportunity! As our semester's Delta Zeta activity, on Sunday we went kayaking out of Peir 40, near the Bay Bridge, and around At&T park to a nice waterway. It was 75 and sunny and the absolute perfect day to hang outside.






That's all for now! I wish you all best of luck surviving the last 28 days of the spring semester! - not that I'm counting ;)

Hello friends! I am back from a fun trip down south for spring break a little tanner, a little more rested, with a bit less money and a lot more laughs. I'd like to give a s/o to my wonderful friends Megan, Soleil, Kloi, and Susan, thanks for the mems, love you lots. 

This past weekend was full of friends, rain, and good food -3 of my favorite things! 

It began Thursday night with our spring semester Delta Zeta social - Back to the 90's! There's nothing I like more than a costume party, and any opportunity I have to wear my fanny pack, I'm in!! The social was at Stock in Trade in the Marina, and we had tons of fun dancing all night!

Friday morning I went out to brunch with my littles, Brianna and Sophia, and Alex, Sophia's boyfriend. We went to one of my old favorites, Stacks. It happened to be pouring so as our karmic reward for getting out of bed, instead of the usual 45 minute wait, we were seated right away!! I had the potato/onion/bacon skillet with scrambled eggs on top and it was totally drool-worthy. The restaurant was cozy, and the company was great, so it was a success. A rainy day and a tummy full of bacon means one thing - Netflix. I wasted the rest of the day away with Loreli and Rory.

Friday night me, and my friends, Megan and Susan, and Susan's friend in from out of town, Dillon, braved the rain to head to Off the Grid's season return at Fort Mason! For those of you who don't know what Off the Grid is, it's a group of food trucks that gather at different locations (Thursdays on Haight St., Fridays at Fort Mason). There is food and music and dancing, and its definitely one of my favorite Friday night activities. We caught a break in the rain and met up with our friend Kloi and her sister. I ate at the Boneyard, and had a barbecue bowl, complete with brisket, baked beans, and coleslaw. It was heavenly, and I highly recommend. And then of course I followed it with a mini creme brûlée, because the Creme Brûlée cart is a must!! We left full and happy.

Saturday morning Susan, Dillon, and I went to the Ferry Building Farmer's Market, which is truly one of my favorite things to do. There is always beautiful flowers, delicious samples, and of course the shops in the actual building. My personal favorite is Mariposa Bakery, an entirely gluten free bakery that makes AMAZING baked goods. If you are gluten free, do yourself a favor and try this asap!! They also ship their food, so check out this website, you won't regret it.



Saturday continued with shopping downtown and the USF club volleyball game. I went to support my friends - shoutout to Megs, Jenny, Miranda, Leigh, and Syd! I love watching you guys do what you love, and as a cherry on top, you won in both games! #proudteammom
Sunday was full of studying and recruitment school for Delta Zeta! And now, only a few more days until spring break! 

Who's excited for Women Tell All this Monday?!

This adorable dress I scored (for ONLY $19! wowowow) with the Gap Factory sale!  Because the only thing better than Gap is Gap on sale!


And last but certainly not least, this quote for when real life gets in the way. I love being a nursing student, but it can be a lot when I want to go have fun, but I have to think about my job and a bajillion tests and clubs and responsibilities. So thank god for finding this quote Saturday night, and feeling semi-okay about falling asleep at 10 watching Fuller House after a long day of work and cramming instead of going out with my friends like I wanted to.